Our Self-Styled Ignorant Man, Currently Recused

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Several of the President-Elect’s nominees or senior advisers have Russian ties. Have you been in contact with anyone connected to any part of the Russian government about the 2016 election, either before or after election day?

RESPONSE: No.

—The Sessions Sessions

Well, but yes, of course, technically, yes. Then-Senator Sessions was on the Trump Election Committee dime when he met with Russia's ambassador to the United States, someone famously connected to the Russian government, in person at the Republican National Convention, which no one denies was all about the 2016 election, so, well, hmm. A simple "no" in answer to this question is simply untrue. As writing is a calculated act this, a written response to a question written by Senator Leahy, is presumptively a calculated deceit.

Or, perhaps he didn't realize the ambassador was connected to the government. Maybe Jeff Sessions thought the ambassador was like valet parking at the fancy hotels, the doorman out front with the epaulets and gloves, ushering traffic in and out of his country.

Its's hard to adequately evaluate what an ignorant venal fuck Jeff Sessions may be, based on the record, although in his Senate confirmation hearing he had clearly gone to the trouble of memorizing a set of sentences attesting to his complete cluelessness in case after case, which he avowed dozens of times in his testimony. He took an emolument from an institute run by a crazed Islamophobe, Frank Gaffney. When pressed in Senator Leahy's questionnaire to disavow the sort of stuff spewed by Gaffney, such as insisting that Obama is guilty of treason, Sessions relied, "While I do not hold the views that this question attributes to Mr. Gaffney, I have no knowledge of whether he actually said these remarks or in what context."

"I have not and will not associate myself with any racially insensitive or discriminatory remarks made by anyone. I have no knowledge of the information on which CPAC relied in forming their opinion of the gentleman in question."

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…I am not aware of facts that would support the assertions made in the above question and an unable to opine on this matter.

—Jeff Sessions responding to a question by Senator Patrick Leahy

The sun rose at 7:08 this morning, Senator Sessions…

…I am not aware of facts that would support the assertions made in the above question and an unable to opine on this matter.

You doubt the sun rose this morning?

I must have been asleep. Therefore, I am not aware of facts that would support the …

GAAHH!!